My story, the longer version 😉
I write this because it may inspire somebody out there. Normally I don´t go backwards, I like to go forwards in my life.
Born in Austria, 49 years ago, I was moved to Switzerland 2 years old. I grew up with my parents and a brother in a very remote mountain village. As I remember it, a very lonely childhood.
Somehow I never fitted in, I felt I didn´t belong here. Nobody to talk to, my escape was the world of books. I loved reading, felt isolated, so I became even more introvert. My books were my friends and in my fantasy I could be everywhere I wanted. Growing up to be a very shy and quiet girl, a good girl… Keeps you out of trouble. Did always what was expected of me. Holding low profile. Feeling the needs of others, to survive and keep the peace at home.
Being impatient to stand on my own feet, I left gymnasium to become a secretary.
Got bored very fast, so I took some timeout with an English course in the USA. A totally great time. Very inspiring! After coming home I got the idea to become a police officer. Sounded like an interesting life, with no day like the other. I was very lucky and got the chance to join the city police in Luzern. In the police I found a new family. I stayed for 11 years. A very independent and exciting time. Learning a lot of new skills. Firefighting, shooting, dealing with conflict, human behavior and so on… No luck in love though 😉
More and more I felt drawn to another world, the spiritual world. Me being me, I tried of course a lot….Yoga, NLP, Clairvoyant, Seances, Aura soma, Tarot cards, I was addicted and read the cards every 5 minutes 😉 I was just looking for some answers, because in reality I was not OK. I felt like crap and just tried to escape it with shopping, food, cigarettes and spiritual practice. What I really needed was Love.
Then destiny wanted, that I took part in a trance course in England at Stansted Hall. Here I met my soulmate Tommy. Within 6 months I had quit my job (wasn´t me anymore), was married, packed my apartment down, 2 cats in the car, driving to a new life in Denmark.
Impulsive, maybe, but I had this strong feeling inside of me, this was the right thing to do. And it was. Even though I had a prize to pay, it was totally worth it. I lost a steady income, my prestigious self, my usedto environment, my loneliness in a way. But now I was lost with the new culture. Didn´t speak the language. No home. No money. And an outsider again. But I gained so much. A lovely new family, who opened their arms to me and so many new experiences. I developed my creative and intuitive side. Experienced a whole new world with haunted locations, spirit contact… and I met many great inspiring people. I respect them so much. I am very grateful for that.
But it wasn´t easy. NOT AT ALL. I had to deal with homesickness, depressions and even more fear … know a bit about it. And I felt degraded to earn some money with cleaning. NOT FUN. But they say humility is good for the soul.
More and more I felt imprisoned. I started to be a magnet for negativity. Every lost spirit followed me home. Wow there are many… And I had great difficulties with grounding. Fear and darkness taking my breath away. NOT a nice place to be. And I fought…. Believe me. My brain almost exploded. In the end I went a week in a fear delirium, where I saw scary visions at work. How I escaped from being inlaid, I have no idea. I must have some great guidance, thank God!
This was a few months ago.
Now I feel totally renewed. Amazing synchronicity, many insights. And the fear is gone. Learning a lot every day.
My time in the darkness learned me to appreciate the light more. It showed me, what really matters. I trust the flow of life. I don´t want to hide from life anymore, I want to live and enjoy it.
Really love everything about it!
I deserve a place in the sun.
And you do too!